GENERIC JEWELRY LOT #1194

HERE AT GENERIC JEWELRY LOT #1194

WE KNOW YOU COME TO ATTIAS

FOR THE FINEST IN QUALITY AND LUXURY.

BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW

YOU DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO COVER IT

AND LETS BE HONEST, NO ONE EVER NOTICES ANYWAY.

SO AFTER YOU’RE DONE WINDOW SHOPPING,

HEAD DOWN TO THE DARK AND DINGY END OF THE MALL

WHERE SEARS USED TO BE.

RIP SEARS.

WE ONLY SELL THE FINEST BOOTLEG NECKLACES,

BRACELETS, RINGS AND I’M SURE OTHER STUFF.

MADE OF TOP QUALITY PLASTIC AND OTHER "MATERIALS,"

OUR FAKE JEWELRY WILL BE SURE TO

PLEASE ANYONE ON YOUR SHOPPING LIST

THIS SEASON

WELL, ANYONE WHO DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER.

SO LET US TREAT YOU RIGHT

AND SCAM YOU AND YOURS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

THAT’S GENERIC LOT #1194 THAT YOU CAN FIND ON THE FADED GIANT MAP

ON THE ENTRANCE TO THE MALL,

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH UNNAMED LOT #1195,

THE ONE THAT SEEMS TO HAVE EVERY STYLE OF

PROM AND QUINCINERA DRESS EXCEPT FOR

ANY STYLE THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER WEAR.